July 23, 2017

What to do if Your Spouse doesn’t Want a Gun in the Home?

I don’t usually post things that could be seen as controversial.  Today might be a little different.  It is not my goal to offend anyone, and I apologize if I do. I realize that either sex could be opposed to a gun in the home, but the vast majorities, in my experience, are women.  The advice I am going to give today is from the perspective of a man.  Ladies, if you’re in favor of a firearm in the home and your husband is not, most of what I have to say applies to you as well.

 

Why Are They Opposed?

The first step is to find out why they are opposed.  In my experience most objections to firearms from are either based on a lack of understanding about firearms, or are an emotional response.  Don’t poke fun at their opposition, or minimize their concern.

If it is a lack of understanding, one thing you could do is see if they would be willing to get some training.  One thing I have learned (yes the hard way) is that spouses don’t always take direction from one another.  Find an experienced firearms instructor and, if possible, a female instructor.  You could also attend a First Shots class together.  First Shots is an introductory class on basic handgun safety and operation.

If their response is emotional in nature, find out why they feel the way they do.  If your spouse is generally an open minded person, you may be able to show them facts that back up your support of firearms.  It is my experience that when anyone bases their argument on an emotional response, you’ll have a hard time getting them to see differently.

 

What To do if They Won’t Budge.

Let’s say you’ve discussed the issue and tried to get them to see your point of view, but they still won’t relent.  What should you do?  I believe that men and woman are generally equals in a marriage.  When it comes to the safety and security of the family, that role generally falls to the man.

If you feel that a firearm is the best way to protect your family against a multitude of possibilities, purchase one.  Explain to your spouse that you have heard their point of view, but that you feel it is your duty to keep your family safe, and to do that you feel you need to be on level playing ground with the criminal element.

Assure them that you will be safe, you will get training, a gun safe, keep the firearm stored safely.  Do not rub their nose in it, do not flaunt it.  You should also be prepared to spend some time in the dog house.  I am blessed to have a wife who thinks much like I do, but if she was opposed to guns, I would reassure her, purchase the gun and think it worth being in the doghouse it to feel like I did everything I could do to protect my family.

 

Closing Thoughts

I wrote last week that Security is a Woman’s Responsibility Too and I stand by that, but let me clarify.  I think, in this one area, it is the man’s primary duty to protect the home.  Ladies, if you have a husband who is anti-gun or can’t fulfill his duty to protect the home, I believe that the duty now falls on you.

 

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