June 27, 2017

What Would You Do: “I’m coming to your house”

What would you do? You share preparedness with someone (or someone see’s your preps) and they say “I know where I’m coming if it ever hits the fan.”

Instead of doing the normal “what would you do?”, today I am going to add some comments here. Please feel free to add your comments.

One of the dangers of sharing preparedness is that other people will then know you’re prepared. This can lead to the comment, “I know where I am coming if it ever hits the fan” or a version thereof. This is a rough spot and there aren’t any easy answers to it, so I’ll give you some of my thoughts on the topic.

For me there are two groups; the people I know and the people I don’t know.

If I don’t know someone and they make a comment like this, the answer is easy. I would just tell them “I wouldn’t”. If they ask why, I would simply tell them that my number one priority is to protect and provide for my family. I would go on to say that if it hits the fan, anyone who shows up who isn’t family would be viewed as a possible threat.

Some Christians have a hard time being firm with people because they feel they’re being rude. Christ was absolutely firm with people, He told people exactly who He was and never backed down. When Peter told Him not to go to the cross, He didn’t give a timid response. Peter got an earful of “Get behind me satan!”

Excuse the soap box for a minute: I think many Christian’s mistake meek with timid. Chip Ingram gave the best description of meek that I have ever heard, he said that meekness isn’t weakness. It’s “power under control”. Okay, back to the article.

This is a bit more complicated with people I know, who are aware that I prepare. I would hope they would follow my example and prepare themselves or at least ask for my help to get them prepared. The truth is that there are some people I know who will show up. I will help with what I can but there are others who will be told “I’m sorry, I can’t do anything for you.” Will it be easy? No. Will it hurt? Yes. As I mentioned yesterday, sometimes you have to shake the dust from your feet and when you do, there can be consequences. Stay firm!

I’m not heartless. If it does hit the fan, I will try to feed (some) people when I can. It will be simple food; beans, rice, cornmeal and flatbread.

Like I said, this isn’t an easy topic, but one that is better thought through now, before you have to actually give an answer.

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  1. bruce smith says:

    I would tell them they are welcome but will have to Bring all the food there family will need as well as water.. They can also be prepared to shoulder a part of the burden by working at helping me Improve the preps that I am making. I don’t think anyone could really come here though. Not much room and the garden area is to small…

    • Chris Ray says:

      Good call Bruce, giving them a bar to be reached is a good idea.

    • We recently reconnected with an old Navy buddy that we found out was living about an hour and a half away. We haven’t seen him or his wife in over 20 years. They are like minded, but their emphasis is on weapons. My husband made just that comment, we know we’re we’re going when we need to bug out. His reply was only if we had skills to trade. I can garden (which in Texas is a plus), his wife cooks, so it wouldn’t necessarily be a plus and we’re storing food. He said as long as we shoot well (which we do) and bring the food, we’re welcome.

      • I don’t believe your husband said it in the same tone that most do. Since you are storing food and can shoot, plus I’ll wager you both have plenty of skills to add to the group, so I don’t think you go to the table empty handed.

        My viewpoint is that if you can feed yourself and are willing to stand watch and defend what we have, then I will try to make room.

    • Steven Hadley says:

      This is a common statement among those who have not taken the step to provide for themslves or others. I prep, keeping in mind that many will come to seek refuge. Everyone I meet, the conversation at some point turns to providing for oneself or family in the way of preping just as often as preaching the word of God. Store more than you need, feed the children and send the adults out to gather what is needed. God will take care of the rest, it’s faith in a nut shell. God knows you can’t help everyone but your attitude should be to try a help as many as you can, again FAITH………..as a side note.Jesus was not a pacifist, so you know what to do when the black hats come a knockin…

  2. Great topic. I have had many people make this comment to me over the past year as I am always trying to encourage others to prepare for their families. When they make this comment I tell them I am preparing for MY family and they have a responsibility to prepare for their own.
    I keep reminding people that if they wait to long there won’t be any time left. Its their choice.
    Funny, even the government has billboards encouraging people to be prepared.

    • Chris Ray says:

      I listen to a few radio station on-line from other states, they play a lot more of the FEMA Be Prepared type commercials then they do here, so of them aren’t too bad.

  3. Elizabeth says:

    I agree with your statements of “I would advise against it” to non-kin. However, I realize that those living in small houses/land without the ability to garden or room to store will be expected to work on the land, help tend to the animals and garden, and bring as much supplies as they manage to save. No work = no eat. It is not being cold hearted or non-Christian, it is tending to one’s house first.

  4. Margaret Kiemele says:

    I know there are other implications – but sure seems to fit this discussion doesn’t it!

    25 “Then the kingdom of heaven shall be likened to ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. 2 Now five of them were wise, and five were foolish. 3 Those who were foolish took their lamps and took no oil with them, 4 but the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps. 5 But while the bridegroom was delayed, they all slumbered and slept.6 “And at midnight a cry was heard: ‘Behold, the bridegroom is coming;[a] go out to meet him!’ 7 Then all those virgins arose and trimmed their lamps. 8 And the foolish said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.’ 9 But the wise answered, saying, ‘No, lest there should not be enough for us and you; but go rather to those who sell, and buy for yourselves.’ 10 And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the wedding; and the door was shut.11 “Afterward the other virgins came also, saying, ‘Lord, Lord, open to us!’ 12 But he answered and said, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, I do not know you.’13 “Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour[b] in which the Son of Man is coming.
    p.s. How do you store flatbread – or would you be making it from ground flour? How long would a big can of olive oil – unopened last> thank you

    • Chris Ray says:

      Your right, there are other implications and it does fit this conversation.

      By flat bread I just mean without yeast. From the research I have done on olive oil I seem to remember it lasting roughly a year. But it like any other food is sensitive to light, temperature etc. so you could stretch it out longer or make it shorter depending on how/where you store it.

  5. PS. Also, I have offered to friends who talk about coming to my property when it all goes south,,, to put a shed up and start stocking what they will need.

    There aren’t any sheds up yet. Hmmmmm

  6. My response would be dependent on the individual. My preparedness is centered on family and close friends, and neighbors. If family or close friend, they would already know that they would have to contribute (not come empty handed). Otherwise, I would smile and say: “You haven’t yet earned an invitation.” Then I would say, “Obviously you see value in being prepared. Are you interested in learning how and willing to be prepared yourself?”. So starts the recruitment process… Most importantly, this is the teach-them-to-fish philosphy (I’m a big believer in this).

  7. I’m with Bruce.. I would happily say,
    “You bet you’re welcome to come bug out with us.. just make sure you bring your food & water supply for your family with you when you do, because what I have.. is only enough for us.”
    “Oh and make sure you’ve google’d ‘How to make homemade soap’ (amongst other things), because we’ll be doing stuff like that and you’ll be expected to help.”

  8. Jeff Hall says:

    Man, These are some great posts. I have thought a little about this. Anyone that comes to my place when things go south better have something to bring to make our community of family and friends stronger. Knowledge of some kind of trade will be needed here. A hierarchy will be in place. I think I spelled that right. I as the leader will see that everyone has a primary and secondary job. Example might be that a person takes care of the garden but is also our spiritual leader for services on Sunday mornings. Everyone will have something to do. Protection will be a very important job that will need 24/7 attention. I have 5.1 acres but wished I had 40 acres. Maybe the smaller acres will be easier to protect. GOD BLESS!!

    • Chris Ray says:

      Building into a community it a great idea, you could always be proactive with the people that have skills sets you don’t and form a MAG.

      I would love 5 acres, but I’m with you, 40 sounds better lol.

  9. Kevin L says:

    There are only a few people at church that know fully what we have amassed. Those people would be welcome as long as they bring whatever they have to offer. We can then allocate food for the kids, and work out the details of the various jobs that will be required. Gardening and security details come to mind first.

    Of course this scenario is riddled with problems. My stored food is designed around 4 people as is my garden at 1000sq/ft. Sleeping arrangements, toiletries, sanitation ect. Thats why I love you Chris. You make us think!! :) Kevin.

    • Chris Ray says:

      Thanks Kevin.
      I’m there with you, I would run out of space quickly. Maybe a bunch of us should all buy land near each other and have one big bug out location lol.

  10. Jim in NH says:

    I don’t know that this is an answer. However, I’ve had more than one person say that, if the stuff hits the fan, they’ll head over to my house. My response “What makes you think I’ll be there?” Then, they get this look on their face. It’s almost humorous.

  11. Mark Manney says:

    Living in a bedroom community of a small city, in a cul-de-sac, significantly prepared for my location (long…long before it was fashionable) and constantly fine tuning it….I have given this possibility a great deal of thought, especially since a number of close friends, a couple of relatives and one neighbor has said to me, I’m coming over to your place if ________________. Some have said it jokingly, some seriously, and some mockingly. As far as I know the jokesters, the worried, and the mockers are still in the same situation as they were when they all warned me I would be responsible for their well being during any worse case scenario…as they will be helpless during any extended emergency, disaster, war, etc. etc. etc. (Some of them are almost helpless now).

    I have made preparations far past my wife and my needs for close family, including a case of paperback Bibles and all kinds of barter/extra stuff to give away….so within limits I will help and love my neighbor…

    That said me and mine won’t provide privately funded welfare for all the grasshoppers.

    As a Vietnam Veteran I have already lived through and experienced apocalypse. I understand real thirst, real hunger, fear, terror, and all the unforgettable lessons of the worst case scenario. Thats one of the reasons I am so well prepared…and so well armed.

    • Chris Ray says:

      Mark that is very well said, I really liked “That said me and mine won’t provide privately funded welfare for all the grasshoppers.”

      I never saw combat, but I spent enough time in pits to understand hunger and see true poverty.

      Thank you for your service brother

  12. I call our place the “ark”. We have a max. capacity, family first and they are expected to bring what they have to contribute, all must work and security is as important as working. I learned that a rule of thumb is 1/8 acre of garden per person. Since we live in a mild climite I wonder if I can stretch that a little bit. But beyond our capacity we can not accommodate additional people. I plan to be firm but compassionate at the same time. I have “friends” that have made similar comments of running to us when things go south and I dread having to deal it.

    • Chris Ray says:

      The “Ark”, I love it. What kind of gardening do you do?

      • everything from tomatoes, peppers, corn, beets, not sugar beets (too far south) I am a master gardener, that helps a bit. I hope to grow beans to help furnish protien in the diet, got some stored food for that time of the year that can not garden, but thank the Good Lord, that doesn’t last long. Know how to can. I am not real young, but there are young ones to help and LEARN, that is important too. They want to learn. I pray the Lord blesses our preps and leads the way as we go thru this period in our country. May the Lord use us to lead others to him.

  13. Mike Streker says:

    I have told most everyone I know about prepping. It is up to them to prepare. I’m not cold hearted so family is always welcome. I would invite people who have skills that my group does not have. They would also have to be a christian. I do not want to be unequally yoked to people who don’t share my views on God, Jesus and the Holy Sprirt.

  14. I don’t have this problem…I stopped talking to people long ago, after being laughed at so many times!
    I do mention to my immediate family that they need to stock up, against inflation, pandemics, etc….but they don’t listen, and none of them have ever said that they would just come to my house…since I’ve never really gone into detail about our preps…it’s sad, but they ARE my family, and I know them…they live for the moment, and worry about tomorrow…well, tomorrow!

    • Chris Ray says:

      “they live for the moment, and worry about tomorrow…well, tomorrow!” you just explained most of our population.

  15. wisehiney says:

    Makes you wonder how well people’s religious convictions, indeed their humanity, will hold up in a panic scenario. Also, for every person permitted to join, there will be more people that they are deeply committed to. Gonna need an extremely wise, tough minded and lucky doorman.

    • Chris Ray says:

      I hear you, people will be pushed, faith will be a must and you’re right, a heck of a doorman would be helpful.

  16. The gasman speaks:
    Good article Chris and great comments people!

    I usually keep quiet around the neighbors. They see us gardening and comment they wish they could do the same thing. I answer “why don’t you”? I usually get a bunch of excuses but I see an invisible hand sticking out over the fence with a look of “gimmie”. Sorry people this is for my family first and then if there’s surplus I’ll be more than glad to let you “purchase” them at a cost far lower than a store. Why? Because I need the money for supplies, ammo, provisions that you obviously don’t have or won’t prepare for.

    If you want to get information from anyone answer a question with a question. You will then have most of their intents on what they will “bring to the table”.

    Ben Franklin made a list of the positives and negatives of a subject/purchase/etc. If the positives outweighed the negatives, then he would proceed. Likewise for the opposite. We’ve been doing this for 31 years.

    Be safe!


  17. For the most part, I try to keep my preparedness level low key. Those who I do talk to are those who are seeing the possibility of future events and are making the determination to be prepared. In our concersations I determine their receptiveness and expand if I get positive feed back; if not, I tend to be very generic. The one main point I stress is forming community, working closely with those who are in the process. This assures me of having others to work with and share with in future events.
    I also plan my protection structures based on the area and availble materials. My outer perimiter relys on non leathal, but difficult hazards that would give someone difficulty in entering. The level of defense increases the closer some one would get to my main area of operation. But, I can not do it singlehandedly, this is why forming community is important so that others share the responsibilities for maintaing defense and keeping eachother fed and equally supplied. We each bring out talents and gifts to the mix.
    Bartering, will also be a part of my defensive structure, By suppling some provisions to others in exchange for their assistance in being eyes and ears ( early warning). This gives responsibility to others for their safety, and keeps them from seeking assistance from the power structure of the time.
    Forming a communication network using hand held ham radios also provides everyone with the ability to remian safe and informed. This I feel is one of the most important parts of preparedness supplies.
    This is my first post and I take the art of prepping seriously. As a Christian, I am trying to Love my neighbor by helping them to be prepared, and give them the advantage of years of experience and knowledge; but that choice is theirs alone.
    I truly believe that the more who are prepared, the greater our chances are to survive, and then rebuild in the aftermath.

    • Chris Ray says:

      Sounds like you’ve really thought this out. Do you have a HAM license?

      I agree with your last point, the more people are prepared, the easier things will be.

      • Chris, I dont have the license yet, but will post some info about the testing for it and some future dates so others can get theres also.
        I will also include some differnet site for good hand helds.

        • Chris Ray says:

          Thanks Rick, please do. I have started gathering resources for an article on communication and anything you get would be a good addition to what I have so far.

  18. I have always stocked up on basics, never being a prepper until recently. Since then I have faced the ‘well we will just head to your place’ comment from family and friends. I was at a loss as to what to say, until January of this year when a set of circumstances put extended family in a financial position where it showed us exactly what will be expected of us…at least what they THINK.

    Not only have they quit in all ways, they claim not to have, can’t afford, etc. while bragging they got this or that. I don’t want to portray that everyone should live without sweets, treats, or occasional things. What I do is watch and see how they are doing. Constant comments of ‘no money’ or ‘can’t do we are broke’ followed by ‘we got ____” or ‘we are going on a day trip to ____’.

    They don’t want to save, even barter money or food … saving the pennies and throwing the dollars away because when they happen to stop over when we are getting supplies delivered (they just seem to know we are getting something UPS or FedEx) and comment ohhh more for storage huh.

    My answer finally came to me one day…I came back with…well we have enough for our immediate family…that is ourselves, children and grandchildren. Period. So, if you plan on coming here it better be with a stock of supplies, food and water to add to the stores and the willingness to remember one important thing…come empty..we will give you a day’s food and send you on your way. We are here to help and support you in preparing for you and your section of the family…we are NOT here to take care of you.

    We also garden and for years have offered produce to family on the ‘come and pick it’. For years we have thrown out food from the garden because they didn’t come. This year…ohh dear…SURPRISE!!! If you grow it, you will have it. We are blocking off sections and if there is nothing there…you will be at store buying. No more free food…they are going to start learning NOW. Not when things go bad…now. We have had to stop and look at what is happening to us while we are giving until we do without…now…we are stocking up and if the grasshoppers of the world want to play instead of prepare, we will be kind and give them a day’s food and shut the door.

    We do not feel this is being unChristian. We know that it will be hard, but I love the story told by Margaret about the 10 virgins…be prepared. I pray that stopping now will make them think and start preparing. Even a start is good and while they are doing that…I will continue to pray for them.

    God Bless all

  19. Remember, if you give a man one of your fish he eats for a day. Teach the man to fish and eats forever. We can do our best to teach prepping to others as much better way to take care of someone. If they don’t listen, it’s not for our lack of trying.

    There is nothing unChristian about giving a day of food and turning them away. You can not feed the world.

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